»  And then come to a reading so I can thank you in person!

1. Thanks for buying my book! I appreciate it and I hope you like it. Come to a reading or write me a postcard (click on "contact" for my address) so I can thank you personally and give you a Commentary Track Bookmark to give you an extra little bit of an insider's perspective on the book.

2. All kinds of ways to buy the book. Hard copy. Digital. No skywriting or tattoo versions, although for the right price, perhaps we can make arrangements. It's available all over, in physical stores large and small and, of course, online.

3. I love independent bookstores. My own favorites include

Birchbark Books (Minneapolis), Magers & Quinn (Minneapolis), Micawber's (Saint Paul), Third Place Books (Seattle), Elliott Bay Books (Seattle), Tattered Cover (Denver), and Books & Books (Miami).

Independent bookstores are community cornerstones, they're gathering grounds, they're curators and promoters and perpetuators of good storytelling. They're absolutely essential to a literary culture. So while I love all booksellers of all varieties, and I truly don't care which one, large or small, you patronize--hey, I'm just glad you're reading the book--allow me to just give a plug for the little guys. If getting it at an independent bookseller is a reasonable option for you ... just, you know, think about it.

WHY BUY THIS BOOK?

Well, let's see. It's a travel book for people who don't like travel books (and also those who do), slyly spoofing and subverting the tropes and cliches of  the classic travel memoir formula. It's funny and informative (but never annoyingly zany or pedantic). It's a fast read--perfect for a long airplane ride. Like, say, to Europe. It's also the perfect traveling companion: small in size, low in cost, full of quips and endearing quirks and unexpectedly informative observations. Needs no passport. Sweet-smelling. And so on.

Oh, and thanks again. Thanks for buying, thanks for reading.

BY THE NUMBERS:  Number of bikes recovered from Amsterdam canals annually: 25,000 (according to our tour guide) ... Number of bikes fallen off (by me): 1 ... Bike-falls into canals (by me): 0 ... Rank of falling-off-bike-and-into-Amsterdam-canal as killer of my mother's high school acquaintences, at least as far as I've heard: 1 ... (Number of her classmates drowned in said canals: 1) ... Level of my fear of meeting this demise: high ... Tourists in Amsterdam killed by trams each year: 2 ... Number of Amsterdam museums that I really can't believe actually exist: at least 5 (Handbags & Purses, Vodka, Erotic, Cannabis, Sex)